King Jesus

King Jesus.

Last weekend as we walked through the first-class compartment of the plane, I saw a young woman impatiently tell her friend something about the plug-in extendable arm of her chair. Her friend clearly did not respond the way she thought she should, because I passed by I heard her mutter “Jesus”.

That moment keeps percolating in my mind. Why I am not quite sure. She was swearing by the name of my King Jesus, but I doubt it meant much to her. The chasm of her God-need a yawning empty, hungry well in her life she can never fill, unless she turns to the water that quenches the thirst. As I walked past she expressed her need, not knowing one of the King’s own was nearby and heard. From now on and for many years she will have a prayer warrior dedicated to her cause. I doubt I will know in this life what happened to her.

Twenty years ago I asked God how despair looks. It was a question he answered with a picture in the newspaper of a man. For many years that burden to pray for him rested on me. I carried his picture in my bible for many years. That burden is gone now. I imagine he is dead. Did he resist the great salvation that was placed here for him? I won’t know here.

The God need inside you was placed there by God himself. That hunger is unfillable. You will never find something rich enough to fill it. No amount of wool and silk, no amount of sexual satisfaction, no level of luxury, no amount of alcohol, nothing will ever be enough.

When you reach out your hand to fill that God-need with everything but God, all you are doing is throwing further sickness at a desperate condition for which you cannot find the antidote.

The anger that rises up inside you causes you to raise your hand against those you love the most. Your husband, your children. You regret it, I know. Your voice rises sharply cutting all who are in your path. You can’t control it. You hate it. You are helpless in the face of such a great need.

The hunger for the connection and pleasure of sex. There is no erotica that will ever be enough. There is nothing your husband can give you that will ever be enough. The pleasure never lasts long enough, and then it will drop like an impotent drop in the ocean. It will dissipate leaving you hungrier than ever.

The porn you are watching won’t fill you either. The images are in your brain now and they will haunt you. You will need more and more depraved images to feed your addiction. The more you get addicted, the more you will draw away from those around you. You need the antidote, but where is it?

The alcohol allows you to feel or numbs the pain. It’s momentary, it will wear off, the buzz fading as you face once again the broken glass underfoot. The alcohol allows you to not feel the broken glass for a very short time, but when the numbness fades, the deep cuts you sustained while numb make themselves known, pouring blood and shattered dreams.

What does a tiny Christan woman know about sex, drugs, and alcohol? Too much, and not enough. I know too much and it was never enough.

King Jesus was enough.

King Jesus took the anger and replaced it with the sweet oil of forgiveness and mercy.

King Jesus took the empty erotica and exchanged it for the blessing of a sex life with a husband that is too beautiful and delicious for words. Every act, every move, every feeling sanctioned by God and made perfect and beautiful. In that relationship I revel, my husband with me. The pleasure never stops. Every touch becomes ‘home’. Every meeting of the eye, every kiss, warm curling of desire in the pit of your stomach. It never wears off, you never crave depravity. Always enough, always wonderful.

King Jesus took the alcohol and the drugs and the desperate need to feel and gave feelings. Feelings that rise up with tears and joy, a catch in my throat with pleasure in the mundane, and joy that lifts my hands up in pure gratitude even in the midst of great loss.

This King I speak of. He came for you too. He is your creator, he already knows you through and through. You were never supposed to be a performing monkey for him. That need inside you that you are filling with religious fervor, it’s all shattered glass cutting every one including you.

My King is not a God who withholds affection, or who gives you the silent treatment. I have found him to be the closest in my most desperate moments. He extends only mercy to his children when they fall flat on their faces in the dust. Rise up again! Your soul is not your own.

While you whisper and look down on the brother you saw get drunk, he is reaching his hand down to that brother, making sure he has his needs met while he has a vicious hangover. In our eyes such a person doesn’t deserve very much, right? But not in King Jesus’ view. He knows that when we know we deserve the hounds of hell coming after us, we can finally hear him. I have experienced this. My trust is in him and because of this, I am a safe person to come see if you have a vicious hangover. I will cook greasy food for you, hand you a jar of pickle juice, and love you with all my being because I know… yes, I know what you need now is not punishment but love. What you need to hear now is how much God loves you. Not how much you failed.

The way a Christian responds to sin is not the way the world, the Pharisees or the religious would respond. For those three, all they have is the letter of the law. There is no Jesus. There is no power but in themselves. If you are being persecuted for doing good to those who use you badly, lift your head you beautiful woman of God and be even more fearless.

“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavily laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

Somewhere in Matthew 11.

The yoke of sin is heavy. It will crush you.

When you take the yoke of King Jesus on your shoulders you will experience rest, lightness, freedom.

His burden is light!

He is wholly trustworthy to you, a sinner.

To you Pharisees and hypocrites, you whitewashed walls! You serpents! He is not here for you. Get out of your church pew and go find him or you will face him at the end of time with the chilling words “I never knew you.”

Sister, allow God to open your eyes to honesty. Let the water of his Word wash you clean from the inside out. It is only in him that your mind will be pure once again, those evil images supernaturally removed, that your heart will be freed of guile.

It is only through King Jesus that you can find the soul-deep joy to serve Jesus by serving your husband and children. It is only through him that you worship with your hands as you change diapers, fix food, wash dishes and give endless compassion.

Find him and find peace.

The peace that passes all understanding.

Daughter of Sarah, rise up. Do good. Don’t be afraid.

Jesus is King and he is the water that quenches all your thirst.