I found my little Lollipop in the kitchen, sitting on the bench with her forehead on her knees. Although her cup is generally half empty, she is a courageous and victorious daughter in her pursuit to overcome.

“Honey, are you depressed,” I asked her.

She lifted her head and pushed her heavy mass of hair back, her eyes looked bleak, “Yes Mama, I don’t know why I just feel so….” her voice trailed off as she dropped her head back down on her knees.

And there I felt it, the nudge, that divine knowing that the time had come that I introduce my three daughters to the concept of being a Woman of Dominion.

Picking my baby up into my lap, I said “Darling, what you are experiencing is your hormones”.

My oldest Sumyrlys face fell. “Oh, Lolly,” she said sympathetically.

“I want to teach you girls about being a woman of dominion.” I started. “I am a woman of dominion because I believe God, so when he tells me something, I simply believe it.”

Part of being a woman of dominion is recognizing the ebb and flow of hormones, and how to not take them personally. As the PMS washes over you, that awful feeling of being short-tempered and frustrated as if nothing would be good today. However, when you take a moment to step back and realize, it’s not my fault I feel like this. But it is my responsibility. “Baby, when you feel depressed and hormonal, you will not take it out on your brothers and sisters,” I warned her. She nodded sagely, she heard this from me before. We don’t punish others for how we feel.

This is a rule in our house. Female hormones are part of life. They are sometimes frustrating and tiresome and they certainly do not always feel good, but that can be fixed. One must proactively learn to recognize what is going on, and if one cannot control herself, one must remove themselves from the situation. A cup of tea, a cookie, 30 minutes spent on the couch or alone in one’s room reading a book. Perhaps a bath with some Epsom salts would help? Whatever you do, you will not take it out on the rest of my children. But they are always free to take a breath, as I call it, no matter how busy we are.

A home is a place of safety.

A home is a place of peace.

Home is where we retreat to worship, enjoy hobbies, sit around the table and talk about our day. Home is for snuggling on the couch and watching a movie, or inviting guests over to establish community. Home is where the world does not permeate. Home is where we love each other the very most.

Home is not where we are hormonal and snappy. Home is not where we spill all our ugly over onto each other.

A home is a place of healing.

A woman of dominion realizes when she needs healing. She knows when it’s time to withdraw and take a time out for herself.

My daughters have been watching me for years. They have seen Mama live it out. When I am hormonal, they have seen me bend over and put my head on the counter for a moment and then stand up and smile and say, “I am not feeling well today, so we will call this a day of fun. We will have cereal for lunch and we will all watch a movie together.” It does not happen often, but I will not cross that boundary I have placed around my children. That boundary of treating them badly because of my health. They deserve better than that.

My own mother taught me the importance of resting while on my period. Although we were hard-working Amish girls, when we started our period, we did not have to milk the cows or work. We snuggled up and read a book, or did some other easy, relaxing task. I discovered quickly after I was married and continued to push full force on through my day, that there was a reason my Mom taught me this. The next cycle is always much more difficult and PMS is greatly exacerbated.

Now my own girls get several days of deference to nature. When Mama gets her period, everyone is happy. It means everyone gets to have popcorn and cookies and watch movies and read books together. Perhaps that is silly, but I was determined to normalize periods, and not villainize them to my children as a curse of nature.

Hormones play a miraculous part in humanity. Who but God would have the wisdom to create a woman so elastic, with hormones that ebb and flow with the needs of not only her body but also that of brand new humanity tucked away safely in her elastic womb.

Women are made to be elastic. Our bellies as they grow, stretch to accommodate, only to go back again, flat and soft.

The baby is born, and you would imagine your lady parts are forever wrecked, but no, give it a few weeks and the elastic will snap back and you will be as before.

It is a miracle, truly. Even our bones were made to shift to accommodate and ease the passage of humanity. As the baby squeezes out, their lungs are squeezed tight and cleared of fluid. It’s magic. Its science. God made science.

We are elastic. We are made perfectly, with intent, with science, by the wisdom of Father God. Our hormones are a blessing, not a curse. But when we don’t know how to flow with them they can sure feel like a curse.

I have a list of resources that have helped me and my girls. First of all, you need the proper gear to have a period comfortably and well. A few boxes of toxic Always pads are not on the list. In fact, if you are experiencing severe cramping and bleeding, consider switching to cloth pads, period underwear, or a cup. Many women report relief from both.

Period panties are expensive, but only a one-time cost so they quickly pay off, especially if you only buy organic pads.

These period panties are good for both front bleeders and back bleeders. They cover from stem to stern and they do.not.leak. These are my personal favorite. They hold a lot, are very soft, and are very comfortable although they are a little bit bulkier. They are wider between the legs.

These period panties are very trim and smooth. Narrow between the legs, and extremely comfortable. They are not bulky, they hold a lot, some of them 8 tsp. Don’t be deterred by the name postpartum. Nothing about these is postpartum except the protection. These are best for someone who bleeds neither front nor back, but just balanced.

These period panties are the least favorite in this house although they are not awful. They are very comfortable, and less bulky than the Modibodi, but bulkier than the Belly Bandit. The sleep shorts are divine and although they have less coverage than the Modibodi, they have never leaked for us. The boy shorts are not good for front bleeding. But the sleep shorts are, in moderation.

I cannot post any experience with a cup because my experience with it is too R-rated to post. Let it suffice to say I will let my friends have their period cups and we will dwell together in the land in peace and just not discuss it too much else I faint dead away. I do have it on personal authority that a vast amount of women love a period cup, and advise if you at first it does not succeed, do not give up. I gave up and never ever went back to that dark day again.

If you want to buy cloth pads, they are quite easy to find. I have heard of good things about Glad Rags, and you can find every weight and size on Etsy. It is also easy to make them. I used organic velour as a topper, hemp as a soaker, and pul as a waterproof barrier. I love the patterns from Versodile. I used plastic snaps on the wings.

Cloth-period panties and pads are very easy to clean. I use either plain Tide with nothing added or OUR detergent. I do a cold rinse followed by a vigorous hot soapy water wash, and hang dry. This is also how I wash cloth diapers, except I machine dry those. If I use Tide detergent, I follow it with an extra, cold water rinse.

The best hormone balancing tool I have found is the Jumpstart from Nuethix. It takes a lot, and it is expensive, but it normalized my digestive system, balanced my hormones, and took care of heartburn within two months which is very fast for hormone balancing. It took my period from days of spotting before my period with almost hemorrhage level bleeding for several days, to two days of normal bleeding, and then it’s over, and no PMS beforehand.

Another gentle but effective product that I have used with great success was the Hormone Balancing tincture from Natures Warehouse. This is especially great to help very quickly with severe PMS symptoms. It takes between three to six months to normalize the cycle, but it helps PMS symptoms right away if you continue taking it several times a day during the worse days. This you do not take until after ovulation.

The most comprehensive book on hormones, natural family planning, and period education is Toni Weschler’s book, Taking Charge of Your Fertility. This book will give you practical information that is very useful and will help you self-diagnose many hormone imbalances. It will teach you how to know when you are fertile even if your cycles do not follow the 14 days to ovulation and 14 days to period, cycle.

For cramps, Red Raspberry tea is efficient, effective, and healthy. My favorite is Mama’s Red Raspberry brew from Bulk Herb Store. It contains red raspberry, peppermint, alfalfa, and nettle. I make a strong infusion and drink it all day during crampy days.

Lobelia is also good for cramps, but it must be respected. It takes only a tiny amount. If you take too much you will throw up. Lobelia is the one herb I do not leave home without. It stops an infant seizure in its tracks, has a powerful cleansing effect on the lungs if you have breathed in mold or dust, and it can induce a miscarriage if your baby has died. Lobelia is a thinking herb so if your baby is alive, it will heal and even go as far as to cause a broken bag of waters to close again. I never ever take lobelia unless I believe miscarriage is inevitable. The chances of it actually causing a miscarriage are too great. Do not use it if you are pregnant. It is also effective at relaxing cramping in the uterus.

Low Vitamin D levels often present as imbalanced hormones. Vitamin D is one of the most important supplements and I take it religiously and give it to all the people in my house. Usana Vit D with K is by far my favorite. After I started using Vit D from Usana, I stopped getting bad sunburns and simply turned a deep golden brown. I also use Usana Biomega for PMS migraines. When I feel a migraine coming on, I take four, and it usually lessens my migraine to a mere headache within an hour. I would love to find a pill that completely takes away a migraine, but being able to function mostly normally is second best until then.

Duck Duck Go is my favorite search engine for any information. They are unbiased and do not misdirect you from the good stuff. Google is biased and will not show what they call misinformation. It is much harder discovering truth with google, but absolutely possible with some diligent wisdom.

I hope this information helps you as you navigate the complex pathways of hormones and feminine cycles. It took me years to amass the knowledge and information I have, and it’s exciting to think it might help you and your daughters.

No links on this page are affiliated, monetized or make me money in any way.

Edit to add this comment by a Facebook friend Tanya Knepp

Thank you Tanya!

I would like to add that if you find yourself or your daughter in need of medical support beyond an herbal tincture, that the very best type of doctor to find is one who has been trained in restorative reproductive medicine. Their goal, as implied, is to restore the function of the reproductive system to health rather than mask the symptoms with birth control or artificial reproductive technology. The most widely used form of this in the US is NaPro (Natural Procreative) Technology. They rely on charting of the cervical mucus to tell the physician a great deal about your health, so if you have read and applied 'Take Charge or Your Fertility', you are ahead of the game. NaPro doctors are most famous for their ability to help so many women achieve pregnancy without IUI or IVF and prevent miscarriages as aggressively as possible because they are all pro life. However, they are also extremely helpful with things like hormone therapy for pms and dysmenorrhea (terrible period pain), and some of them are also trained surgically to heal endometriosis and PCOS. They will absolutely not put a teenager, or anyone else, on hormonal birth control for hormonal symptoms. I want to shout what I know from the rooftops because I wish every woman had access to a doctor like mine for their yearly checkups and their times of need. I don't benefit from saying this in any way. The easiest place to find out more about NaPro is NaProebook.com . Iirrm.org is a website with more resources for restorative reproductive medicine in general.